Starry Sky

What I like about arriving HOME since a couple of months, 
is the STARRY SKY (sometimes). 
I saw a lot of skies, with more stars, and in whole the world, 
still... I love my own piece of starry sky the most.

it relaxes me every evening again, certainly when I came from work, by bicycle,
and are surrounded by the nurturing darkness. 

Lost in Prague, pt1

written in September 2012

The airport is a crossing of many travels. Every time again, I leave with mixed feelings about my travel. 

On one side, I am excited, curious and have that itchy freedom feeling, but on the other side… opening a new door means also to leave something behind. 

During the trip from my home in Antwerp to the airport I gazed to my father driving the car, the man who influences my whole past, presence and future, a determinant, a denominator in the fraction of my life. It was one of these moments that I got aware how import he is, and that he absolute loves me, because he always supports me, and even let me go… every time… to a new destination, or a new direction. He really believes that I can change the world, even if it is only my own world. My mother is the counter. She does not really understand why I am going to Prague, but she loves me, and accepts that I am a wanderer, a lost girl in this always changing world. It is weird that you can miss people, when they are still in the same car as you. 

Last Christmas, my friend Lizzie from USA, who shares my adventures of Nepal and Thailand, and who I probably going to mention a lot, gave this nostalgic phenomena a name: Saudade. She sent me this word as an early Christmas present. Saudade. I am not going to copy the meaning of this word from wikipedia. Look it up. Read the poems written about this word about emptiness, missing, longing, and desire, before you continue reading this book, because Saudade is one of the prime numbers that I try to divide in my fraction. 

When I am alone in the airport of Eindhoven, I buy a nice jade green notebook. After passing the customers, I am going to sit, open this book and start writing. I always intend to start to write every white surface I find. Writing is the breath in my blood, pushing me to live. During the writing, I smile, already forgetting the people and memories I leave behind, and thinking about the two dreams I am going to fulfill finally; living in Prague and studying film. 

in prague, (c) Nicolas Hen

Recently, I told someone that if I want something, I will grab it. People know -although they are always surprised how I find the money, the means and the courage- that I get what I want. Some weeks ago I walked for example 100kms in Belgium in less than 22 hours to fulfill a promise I did to my grandfather when I was 8 years old. Later I will talk back about my grandfather. He is another prime number in the fraction. 

By the way, I am 23 years old, almost 24 years old. I did quite a lot in my life, and visited a lot of places in whole of the world, and people are always surprised how I can creating more plans and dreams, but I think that the game of life is keeping striving for more and other things. One of my favorite philosophers is Socrates, and his wisdom that we know only thing, and that is that we know anything, keeps me and other inspired people looking for more, in the hope that one day we find the absolute truth. 

You will notice that I am never satisfied, one of the characteristics that every artist -painters, poets, writers, filmmakers, potters…- need to have, because otherwise I don’t call them a artist, but just a craftsman. Artists are like gold diggers; we dig and dig in the subconscious world of ourselves, and others, find sometimes a nice treasure, but we keep digging for el dorado. We have to be lost. 

When I traveled for 8 months on my own around the world, I already embraced the life of a wanderer, making art, drinking wine, philosophing about life, exploring, inspiring and getting inspired, experimenting… all in the purpose of trying to find a way to leave the world a better place when I die. 

In Prague, I will be, want to become even more the artist, the woman, the bohemian I want to be, and getting more lost.

It is time to embark on this journey. The gate is open... 

Everything...

Christians value love, hindoes trust and muslims brotherhood.

I want to value all three of them.

Can I not be 1/3 Christian, 1/3 Hindoe and 1/3 muslim ? 

"Time Standing Still"
(c) Benjamin I. Bargaard
he is a good friend from Norway

The Smell of my Romance

Last Sunday I attented a "cooking with herbs" workshop in Schoten, Belgium. Since my awareness for healthy (bio)food is growing, I feel the need to learn more about the wonders of nature for our belly. Although the class was more made for cooks or gardeners, I learnt some interesting stuff, and already found inspiration what I will plant in my new garden soon. Every magic starts with a seed... 

During a small walk in the "Herb garden" of the Orangerie in Schoten, our workshopleader introduced us (or me, at least) to Aloysia citrodora (Flemish: Citroen verbena), which is a plant with an amazing smell ever. It makes people relaxed, so ideal for busy bees like me. As in the picture in the bottom, you can see you can put it in hot water.  I always think it is like witchcraft: using herbs to influence emotions and the body. I see all people specialized in herbs as small witches. One year ago, I heard I had some link with the old witch from my village, who lived more than 100 years ago. People came even from other countries to get healed by her. She was a good witch, with "white herb magic". 

People, scientists, say that magic doesn't happen... but knowledge of herbs, cooking and influencing people's emotions when they eat a dish so they are happy... is kind of magic, certainly if you know this knowledge is shared by people from Ancient Greece, India, Maya Empire... Even by food you can make people cry. Apparently, rose water is ideal to let people cry, to let them explode all their hidden feelings and release all the weight. This Aloysia let you relax... that is amazing.

People go back more to the roots, to find themselves back, and go also back to the roots of nature to find cures which they don't find in society. Honestly, the smell of herbs is much more pleasant than smells of cars, hospitals, supermarkets... so I hope to smell this soon every time I come home...

I hope everyone can experience this smell of my new romance... I really do :)

tapas made with fish, apples and herbs + cup of warm water with aloysia leaves

lust for blood, lust for life

on the set of the music video,
production 7-8 September, Belgium

It has been a while ago that I wrote something. Since Saturday, in fact earlier, I am very busy. Last weekend I directed (the cinematography) for a music video, expected to be released around New Year. It was maybe my most ambitious project, and it was the first big project of Visual Okapi a gathering of young people from and around Leuven, who are interested in film. At the moment we're working on more projects. It is now more a hobby than work; 

Stories are my blood, and films are my veins. 

Creating work which finds beauty in ugliness, 

breaks stereotypes and taboos, and connects, is my way 

to become immortal, to have a life I love.  

In the meantime I started to work in the communication department of the Filmfestival of Gent. I did a lot of graphic work in the last days, so I am practicing my Photoshop and Indesign skills.
It is really interesting to see how a big filmfestival works, behind the screens. We expect many famous Belgian people, and even Hollywood stars, like Joseph-Gordon Levitt. I hope that one day I will be the special guest on a big film festival, but that will not be for the next months; Visual Okapi, work, and renovations demand all my time. I hope to start writing soon a short film. Every day I bicycle 24kms for my work, and during bicycling, when I work out, I always get great ideas, and "have time" to develop them. I also can be very creative in decorating my house.

After the 7 weeks I'll work for the Filmfestival, I'll leave Belgium, even Europe, for another 3 weeks.
Thailand is the first destination, where I want to visit my cousin, get more advanced in diving, another fear of me, and learn to film underwater, and continue writing the novel "The Baobabs from Madagascar". I started to write pieces of this novel, two years ago in Thailand, and I think I have to go back to get in the mood, in these two weeks in Thailand. Also... almost two years ago I made a promise to return in November to Bangkok. And... oooh, there are so many reasons to go to Thailand. My old roommate from the film school also lives there and expects me. On my way home I'll make another stop in another country, where I haven't been, to visit another friend from my old film school.

Last, I am also about to finish my term as Financial Control Commissioner for West; I have to check the financial report these days. For the same organisation I am also doing skype meetings to apply for a grant to organize a seminar next September about cultural dialogue.

Many things to do... Of course there is also time for my close friends and family. This weekend I will join one of my best friends to a weekend trip. My parents host a language student, since this week, for 4 months, in my old room. He's from Walloon, the French part of Belgium. I met him yesterday, after work.

I felt asleep on the coach of the living room of my mother, while watching "About Schmidt". The first hour I saw, was really moving. Mr Schmidt, played by Jack Nicholson, is a man who seems to have lost his lust for life a long time ago. His dreams just disappeared during his career as insurance worker. I have many dreams...

...

and I achieve them, so only the most difficult stay...  Still... this blood in me, these stories, are my life energy. If I would ever loose the lust to write, I know I am not alive anymore...

So... that is why I work so hard now in the film world. I don't want to end up like Schmidt.
I don't want to end up one day of my retirement party, write a letter to my Tanzanian foster child and wonder where I lost my dreams...

PRAGUE-ticing Film making (pt2)

I copied this "old note" from a website I'll delete soon, but I don't want to get it lost...
it is about my time in Prague :)

Back to the Past -  19th of October 2012

Dear friends,

it is almost a month ago that I wrote something about my adventures and stories in Prague, so finally I found the time to write a very long update of the last month. First, I take you back to Chile… 

In the footsteps of Neruda

In March 2012 I visited the house of the famous poet Pablo Neruda in Valparaiso. This Chilean politician had different houses, which are all eclectic pearls who are even breathtaking as his poems. This Nobel prize winner collected everything what touched his heart. In his house in Valparaiso, I admired his colored bottles, prayer flags, pop-art paintings, world maps and renaissance statues. After this visit I wandered alone in this city of colors, and witnessed how a street clown on the crossroads played with cars, passengers and the audience, and this audience were hunderds of Chileans. He let us laugh, applaude and even utter a cry of concern. I was back amazed -you can always become again and again amazed about the same things- how a artist, a play, a dreamer, a philosopher… can change the consciousness of many people. There are different ways; you can become a politician, or a economist, or a scientist… but art is more honest. 

I still remember that I gazed for a long time to a poem written by an unknown street artist, in Calle Garibaldi, and smiled. I wrote the text in my notebook, to remember, and to read again, to remember the art and the creativity of Valparaiso, which was also the town where I wrote that whole statement about traveling, as a lifestyle, not as an escape, because traveling has also many challenges and problems to face.  

El artiste de la calle me invita a reir a carcajadas de colores

con marionetas y caras pintadas a ver la vida.

paseando en troles mientras los ninos 

vuelan en sus volantines

en un subir y bajar de asunsores

me pierdo entre mil escaleras

buscanda el mar de mis emociones

sobre la paz y la libertad

mi trit arna

hoy escribe canciones a valparaiso de mis amores

mi amor quiseria brindarte honores

con trazos y pincelados 

pintar poeticas composiones

finsera yo simplemente artiste de la calle 

para plebeyos y senores.

Google translate this text, if you don’t understand it. Six months later I was walking with Parn, my Thai Roommate, in the Nerudova street, up to the St Vitus cathedral. 

Walking in Prague, with my (new ex-) roommate Parn, September '12

We listened to the music of Prague, in all his sounds and colors, took photographs to capture the memories of this city, before it fades away. I take also more and more films, because a video says more than a picture, if you want to memorize the authentic atmosphere of a city. Parn and I observed the crazy Czech guy who imitates Indian dances on the big square. When I ask his name, the only word he can say is "wodka".

On the top of the hill of Hradcrany, Parn and I watched Prague, our home, for the next months, and she remarked that Prague is too beautiful, because it seems unreal that this kind of cities exist. Established as a trading centre for amber and salt at a ford on the Vltava around five thousand years ago, the city of Prague developed out of six independent districts which were unified in the eighteenth century; Stare Mesto (Old Town), Josefov (Jewish Quarter), Nove Mesto (New Town), Mala Strana (Lesser Town), Hradcany (Prague Castle) and Vysehrad (High Castle).

Two weeks later, I did almost the same walk with Jenda and Ola, my friends from EGEA, who made a stop in Prague for a day, and Jenda, my Czech friend, told me about the Nerudova street, pointed me to all the signals of the houses, as the two suns where Neruda lived. Later I read more about Jan Neruda: he was a writer in the 19th century whose tales of the Little Quarter (close to Hradcany) immortalized the bohemian lifestyle of the area. In the same street, Mozart and Cassanova attented balls. This streets make me long to the time of costumes, balls and operas, which is weird, because how can you be nostalgic about a time you never experienced? Later I heard that Pablo Neruda changed his surname after Neruda from Prague, and also have been walking in the same streets as I. 

This is not the story about Prague, or the story about film, books, poetry or other art, or

the story about bohemian lifestyles, this is just another story, next to a story of Jan Neruda and Pablo Neruda about Prague, bohemian culture and art. This is my version.

A) Lost in Translation - Screenwriting

Today the third project started, which is the first important one, because we had to write our own script. The assignment is to make a movie of 4 minutes, with maximum 12 lines. 

I had different ideas. When I walked alone at Wenceslas Square, I noticed all the black guys who are standing, waiting for tourists, to sell drugs… or to have a talk. I don’t know. I wanted to make a four minute movie about them… and then changed… and changed… and changed… I was never very sure what I wanted to write. As a teacher said, making a feature film of 1,5 hour is more easier than one of 4 minutes, because the time limits you to make a clear story. Two weeks ago, I wrote 2 pages about a groom in a forest, suffering cold feet. In this forest, his grandfather died some weeks, months… ago. When his grandfather died, his visions about the future died, because he also had the visions that his grandfather should teach him to drive a car, would attend his wedding… 

In that forest, which is kind of a dream, a memory, a metaphor… his grandfather will say him farewell, on the way he wished, namely they decorate together a tree with symbols of the time, cfr decorating christmas trees, then he leaves her, goes to his bride, who is dancing and wrapping ribbons around a tree, gives her the wedding ring, lifts up her veil -which symbolizes the uncertainity of the future- and kisses her, surrenders to the future. It is a really personal story, because all the persons who know me very well, know that my grandfather died in a forest, when he was felling a tree. It is a contribution for him. I think that he deserves to be the story of my first short film. 

 B) Actor Spotting - Casting

Actors need objectives. Note that down if you want to become a director. An objective is not an adjective, but a verb. Ask them to challenge, to seduce, to scare, to hate… but do not ask them to be nice, to be more angry, to say that on a different tone… 

On my first Friday, Nancy Bishop - an American lady who makes me proud that I am a student of her school, and who was the casting director of moves as… Mission Impossible IV, Wanted, the Illusionist, Narnia: Prince Caspian, - gaves us a lecture about casting actors. After these lecture different actors from the school and from the community could show their skills. The two scenes were very short, and not really from a high standard.

What’s up?

What’s up?

Don’t play games with me. 

We had an agreement.

I was going to hear the other students repeating these lines in the next weeks. We heard these dialogues at least 40 times. My favorites were the actors who pretended to be hamsters. Do not ask me to describe that. Everyone was watching them with an open mond. Literal. I am not exaggerating. After these casting workshop the school treates us un free drinks and snacks. I met there an amazing old American actress. My mouth felt for the second time open, and my eyes sparkled, when she gave her imitation of the zombie grandmother. She added that she hopes to play once a vampire, or an evil babysitter. 

Yesterday, I met Maggie again in a bar in Prague, because I casted her to play the grandmother in my third project. In the database, there were none actors who could replace my grandfather, and for the symmetry and to make it easier, I changed the grandfather in a grandmother… but it is still a story about my grandfather. We talked about her father, who teacher her a lot about nature and forestry, and never studied, because he had no money, and I told about my grandfather, who had a lot in common with her father, and she told me why she loves to be in Prague: they let you be here everyone, and that is true. When I walk in Prague, even in my school, I see and meet so many interesting and eccentric characters. Prague is the perfect place for a casting. 

 C) Delegating and coordinating - Directing

Manchester from South-Africa learnt me these two words in the second weeks. She wants to become a director. In the school, you’re the director of your own project, and the director is the most important person on the set… or almost. In the real world, the director has to listen to the writer (certainly for a television series; the writer can have the last word, in a film it is different), the producers with the money… and also take care that the actors will do what he want, but also has to listen to them. I think that a director needs a lot of management skills, certainly in HR, because he or she is the central figure, who works with different departments very tightly; and is the person who has to place the right person on the right place on the right time. I like directing; it combines the creativity and organisation skills. 

 D) Swimming in the The Moldau - Intermezzo

Besides film, writing… I am also having great time to explore the Moldau, the night life, the coffee bars and tea houses, meet amazing people, have amazing conversations with my roommates Lily and Parn, hang out with Czech people…  I had already visitors from EGEA… and yes, also my parents were here for some days, and brought me some Belgian souvenirs. Some friends of the film school and I went even swimming in the Moldau… when it was raining. 

Why not?

These are two words I hear a lot in this school and environment. 

Memories about Prague and great people I met there, October '12

 E) Boys and their Toys - Cinematography

I’ve to be honest. In the beginning I frowned my eyebrows a lot when the Czech teacher and all the boys in my class were talking about all the different lenses, brands of cameras… Cinematography and lightning is in the film world also a place for men… When more days passed, I have to admit that I became more and more interested and enthusiastic, and try to show that also woman can do this work (yes, this is the feminist in me, I guess :) ). In the first week white balance, color temperature, the use of a 24mm lens, key lights, fill lights, exposure… was really in the  blue, cold zone of my mind. I was maybe also a bit too shy to ask questions, until the teacher confronted me, and then I had to leave my comfortzone. I think that was one of the most crucial moments, and I am very grateful the teacher confronted me. He gave me some private classes, so I could catch up, and since then color temperature is no problem for me. He is one of my favorite Czech persons :)

During the last weeks, in fact, I became more and more one of the “boys and their toys”, and the color temperature of my feelings for cinematography is now 5400 K. I have to learn the most about cinematography, because this is maybe the most creative area. And I’ve to start to train my shoulder and arm muscles; the camera is not that heavy, but all the steady cams and other equipment to film steady, without a tripod, makes the work heavy.

 F) Sex, Lies and Videotape - Editing

After filming (in fact, the set-ups requires more time than the real filming, the world of film is more a world of waiting than you can imagine) 4 hours, I needed 10 hours to make a… dialogue scene of… 2 minutes. A dialogue is something different, because it is dynamic. The rule in editing is that how more dynamic you want to have the scenes, how more cuts you have. A cut is where you take footage of one shot. Every shot, which can exists of more takes (=attemps), is in fact a set-up of the camera, and the light, where you don’t change the angle. There are rules that you do not zoom, unless you are Kubrick.  It is important that you always change the angle. You can not shoot a situation, come closer with the camera, and film the same scene from the same footage. For every shoot, you need another angle. For my scene of “loves of a blonde” I had one close-up of hands, one close-up of actress A, one close-up of actress B, one close-up/medium shot of the guitar part of the scene, one close-up/medium shot of the kiss, another wide/medium shot of the whole scene, and one establishing wide shot. The actors repeat the scene sometimes 20 times, but it is up to the editor to give the audience the feeling that the scene only happened once. Working in the film world let you realize how fake this all is. 

During the editing, there is one big problem: continuity. After one line, an actress is maybe playing with her hair in one shoot, but not in the other shoot… so, you cannot use this shoot, and have to find a solution: either you use the other shoot longer, or you look in the other materials, where the continuity is respected. Normally it is the job of the script supervisor and the actors during the production to control that the actors do everything on the right moment, that everything is on the right moment…

I was the script supervisor for a scene from “Sex, Lies and Videotape,” where the actor has also to dress himself, so every time we started over, I was standing next to him, undressing him (haha), and taking care that all the clothes were on the right place. I had to check that the blancket and the T-shirt of the actress lie on the right place… etc. I still made a lot of mistakes, but honestly... you learn the most from your mistakes...  certainly in this environment. 

Fo my own scene, I had not that many problems in editing. My result was fine, according to the teacher. I’ve to learn more tools, effects… and more rules… but… I like editing very much. After the deadline, we saw the work of other classmates… I know some lines of Sex, Lies and Videotape, American Beauty, High Fidelity and Loves of a Blonde out of my head. All the students became freaks who sometimes starts to quote lines from this scenes, out of the blue… 

G) Harry Potter and the Computer graphics

During this class, we learn how to replace the blue or green screen in the background of our actors by Las Vegas, Antarctica and other places you want. The idea is very simple, but there is a big gap between the idea and the realisation. Sometimes it is very easy to replace the green screen, in some minutes, but some stuff requires more time. We also learn how to track images, learn rotoscope… and all other stuff which is necessary, but asks more time than you think. One of the most hated sentences is "we'll fix it in post"... it is not true. 

I conclude this chapter about an anekdote we heard in the documentary we watched about the magical effects in the Harry Potter series: 

"Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than what we are now: students. If they can do it, why not us?"

—Harry's speech to the D.A

I've a long way to go... to reach my goals in (Film)Wonderland, but every journey has a beginning we all have to face ;)

Bohemian hugs,

wendy

ps At the moment:

Favorite movie:  “The Seventh Seal” by Bergman, where a Swedish knight plays chess against the Death

favorite coffee bar:  Mama Coffee 

favorite teahouse: Daruma, in Na Morani

favorite Czech dish: bread dumplings 

favorite place in Prague: Charles Bridge at midnight, when it is full moon; the big gate tower and the dramatic  statues look spooky; you expect that a ghost coachman and his ghost horses will appear

ps2 my schedule for the next weeks... 

21-22 October: I will act for someone's short movie

24th of October: the shooting of my short movie in the forest, with a RED camera (next time I'll give more information)

Back to the future: here are already pictures from the set... -  24th of October '12